I was never given my own stapler at my job. Whenever I’ve needed to staple something, I have to go borrow someone else’s. All the staplers I’ve used have been severely impaired, crimping the staples through the paper uneasily, and sometimes not even making it through all the sheets. We’re talking 3 sheets or less here, folks.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable to just want to have a cool, dependable stapler around when the need for it arises. This is where this stapler comes in.
I purchased myself the Rio Red Swingline 747. This is the official collector’s release of Milton’s favorite instrument in Office Space.
Today is actually the first time I used the stapler, though I’ve had it for a few weeks. I needed to staple the PQ lists for our new releases. These lists contain start times and end times of each track on the disc. The duplicators need this information for whatever reason, so I took the opportunity to use my shiny new stapler to fasten the sheets together.
The stapler’s performance exceeded my expectations, quickly penetrating the pages and fastening the staples tight and wabbleless. I have no doubt that this is the best stapler in the building, and possibly on Music Row.